There’s a reason there’s not a human dictionary, a directory with standardized definitions for each and every person in the world. If there was, we could choose our friends and lovers within a minute. Decisions would be easy, and life would be boring. And Webster would probably go broke republishing so many editions second by second…because people change. And human definitions shift like the clouds on a windy day.
Human beings are not stagnant creatures. Its both a blessing and a curse.
The curse…Friends, with whom you shared secrets and moments of unfiltered laughter, sometimes disappear in times of deep distress. Expectations, more often than not, don’t take into account change. And this is how people become disappointed, heartbroken, and lost. When you rely too much on other people to define yourself and your life, with their change comes your heartbreak and your sudden feeling of discombobulation.
This is where the blessing comes into play…. you have all the power in the world over yourself. It seems redundant to say that, but there are so many times when life feels so out of control that you feel powerless and vulnerable. But you always have a choice, and you have more control over your emotions than you think. Just let go. Let go of the romantic notion that people will always be there no matter what. Let go of the desire to please everyone that comes into your path without taking a second to think about yourself. Let go of the illusion that someone other than yourself needs to come in and fill the void in your heart. Because you are the only one that can do that.
There comes a time when you have to let go of the ones you love— its the hardest to do but its the most powerful love there is. When their change comes at such a high cost to yourself and your happiness, then just let go. What you often forget when people make choices you can’t control, is that there is always the choice to look at the situation through a new lens and adopt renewed perspectives that wont hurt you nearly as much. You don’t deserve to hurt. You did nothing wrong. Buy a new pair of lens because it sure beats the cost of selling yourself to fight for someone else.
You are not your past. You are the choices you make. Each choice is a mirror of the dreams, values, and perspectives that you hold in that exact moment. Stop living through your past and start living through your heart. Let each choice be a spontaneous and passionate one, and not a calculated decision. Change your definition of yourself and free yourself from the restrictions of your past. Be you, and you won’t have to fight for the people you love, because you have yourself to love you exactly for…you!
And yes, by you, I mean me :)
